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Anyone remember Covid? 5 years ago, I wrote this song just before the quarantine. A faceless neighbor lashed out at me in a way that humiliated me. I thought I was asking a fair enough question regarding the effects of living next to a tranformer. How many of us have these toxic interaction online? I was embarrassed and SO tempted to write back from my rage insults designed to tear this man down. It almost felt like a kind of gravity pulling me to react from my shame; gain a sense of power back.

But I didn't. I stayed with the emotions instead; feel to heal. And this song came out in the process. The anger expressed gave way to the insight that both my (troll:) neighbor and I were desperately in need of mercy. I didn't know him, but I knew I didn't want to hurt him. So the self-retraint was well rewarded with a song that came in so handy as the covid quarantine hit only a few weeks later.

I enjoyed singing it so often during that crazy time in a tiny apartment in the middle of the NYC chaos. Instead of fear, I was reminded of how scared my neighbors were and saw many acts of aggression as calls for mercy. Instead of taking the bait, I'd sing the song and find that expanded safe space that mercy provides when we'll to invite it in.

Well I've discovered a much less known form of this self-delusional condition. In fact I've coined the name for this close cousin of Body Dysmorphia. I conjecture to say Voice Dysmorphia is even more widely experienced as the same distorted self-image but applied to one's own voice.

As a music teacher for over 15 years, most students are so severe in their assessment that it cripples them in one way or another. They are embarrassed, ashamed and anxoius to sing, all based on a false perception.

Most of the students I see love singing. That's why they show up for lessons week after week. But their voice dysmorphia causes them so much needless personal pain. It directly inhibits their ability to fully enjoy their voice.

Many theorize that he did this to create a monopolization of the music industry. “By imposing this frequency, it herded populations into greater aggression, psychosocial agitation, and emotional distress predisposing people to physical illnesses and financial impositions profiting the agents, agencies, and companies engaged in the monopoly.” This is a quote by Leonard Horowitz, one of the most proliferated voicies on the subject.

This is the magic of nature. Nature can restore us to our true identity, heal our shame, our blocks to our own voice. We are reminded of our creative nature, which is as natural to us as breathing. But many of us, most of us, have been blocked from this abilty. Whether it was trauma, poor education, or growing up in a world gone mad, we were disconnected with our natural voice.

But it's still there. We never loose it, even when it's neglected and forgotten.

First of all, why 432hz? The global standard is 440Hz for A. Why mess with this accepted and uniform frequency for tuning. Isn't it more practical and modern so that musicans can travel anywhere and play in the same frequency?

I think Jonas Maluik says it best in his book 432hz; The Magic and Mystery of Sound and Music:

“A lot of the challenges and dis-ease human beings are facing today is a result of the fact that we are out of tune with the cosmos. We are supposed to live in harmony with our earth and universe, but somewhere along the way, we got lost; and now we are operating on our own frequency. One which is not in harmony with the music of the cosmos at all.”

I think this is well said, our own frequency indeed.

My Friday Night Video tonight is one of my favorite Jazz Standards - Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered.

I learned this early days in Jazz School. It was because I could relate to feeling put under some kind of love spell (a bad one) and loosing self respect in pursuit of a man that was no good for me. See video for the lyrics…

I used the 2nd verse as empowerment for myself. And to focus my mind on forgiving those foolish mistakes I made in my 20's. It's such a good one to sing along to/ learn to play if you are finding yourself in a similar situation.

Speaking of mistakes - I'm often telling my students how mistakes are part of music. And in this recording, I make a BIG bobble. After many years out playing live, I typically can pivot from a wrong note with out loosing the beat. And in many cases, with out the audience even noticing.

This week's video is a just a fun one. Jackson is a song I love and have loved playing with my partner. We threw it in at the end of a small live set at Dosey Doe's in Texas, and I decided it was the perfect song to accompany some recent Photos I took at a Classic Car Show. After last week's song Sex Wars, it is a continuation on the theme of the difficulties we face in pursuit of life Partners. This song is a good one to sing when you need to reignite the passion in your relationship. As well as dispel the disney programing of how relationships SHOULD be.

And if you are not already tuned into your creativity, this is advocate using it in this pursuit. This Shadow Work is important beyond what we can conceive in our postage stamp consensus. But having my music and art as my vehicle driving it forward has grounded and stablized me in this world, enabling me to focus on it with out going off the deep end. I'm so thankful. So I want to gently suggest you listen to the calling of the holy Spirit, offering you a personalized, inspired path forward. I pray that you will find a creative pursuit that gives discipline and meaning to this deeply personal work that connects you to worlds beyond this one.

Learning to love, learning to be in healthy relationship is far more difficult than most will admit. It's not something we learn in school, nor is it modeled in the media we absorb like sponges since our youth.

For most of us, it was not modeled in our families growing up either. Instead we learned patterns such as such as bullying, over passivity, venting and worse – abusive behavior – verbal, physical and even sexual.

In my 20's, I fell flat on my face in my first attempt at romantic partnership. I fell so hard that I was too afraid to try again for close to 20 years. The reason was me – I saw a side to myself I had never seen so clearly as when I was in that relationship - my temper, my moods, my lack of consistency – how could anyone live with all this? I couldn't barely stomach myself.

I've created packages for any student interested in lessons - from Children and Teens, to Adults. Click below to find out more! Get in touch now for your free online 45min consultation. Never any obligation! It's just a discussion to find out about experience and goals. Then I can offer my insights and possible options for any musical journey.
For my former in-person students, it'd be great to just get caught up and hear some of your music. At the very least, the consultation can inspire your creativity and discipline.
So please contact me with interest and we'll set up your time today.

Over the years, I've used a certain analogy So many times in my music lessons. Last week, when it came up with both students and then in conversation with a dear friend, I realized I wanted to write about it. By coincidence, I was editing this Video of Barry Kay and I singing you are my sunshine from a gig at Plainsboro Library last week. I love when life lines up in such obvious ways as to point me in the direction of where to focus my creativity each day, each week.

And it's this love and appreciation that I just felt that is the metaphorical sunshine I'm referring to when I talk about giving yourself sunshine to grow.

Just like plants, we need the sunlight to grow and expand.