“I Dared And it Came True, living for real... living for real” - Music Video Premier
“I Dared And it Came True, living for real... living for real”
When I wrote this song, all my dreams had come true.
I was a independent woman living in Brooklyn. My days were filled with service and purpose, teaching music, and playing out live with so many bands, in so many situations
No, I wasn't selling out stadiums, nor was I even racking in tons of $$$. But I was paying my bills, fullfilled and thrilled. Because THIS was what I couldn't barely allow myself to dream. As a shy, acne covered young woman who could barely speak up for herself, this was so far out of my purview. In fact, my mind was filled instead with the expectations of others; and of the world.
I didn't even know what I liked, let alone what I wanted out of life.
“But I dared. And it came true. Living for real. “
Inspite of my insecrities, I began to get really honest with myself. I prayed, and meditated, did long walks in nature and had vision quests. In all the quiet time, one idea wouldn't go away. I wanted to be a musician. I couldn't escape that persistant calling in my soul.
To my personality, being a musician was the LAST thing in the world I wanted. I had quit piano at age 13 because I didn't see the point. Though, I was always singing and making up songs, I rarely shared them with anyone. I was comfortable singing in choirs, or groups, but never by myself. I just didn't think I was special enough, nor talented enough, nor confident enough. And as a girl of 23, it was definitely too late to decide to pursue music (according to the world).
Our souls often don't make any sense though, and they definitely don't care about what’s safe and normal in this world. But when we pay attention to that quiet voice, we realize it is consistent. And patient. And persistent. I felt such longing to work on the songs I was hearing in my head ALL the time.
But I could have continued to ignore it, I had already for 20+ years. But instead, I did something different.
I Dared.
I Dared to imagine that I could be a songwriter. So I bought a used keyboard. I started working on music at night after work. I truly loved it so much that it just grew. Over the span of about 5 years, I recorded an album. Played at local coffee shops. And my love of music just grew and grew.
When I was in my late 20's, I Dared again.
I wasn't ready to settle down like all my friends. I liked being independent, being creative. I was just beginning to trust myself. So I listened to that quiet voice that was calling me to adventure. I packed up and started traveling.
It was in Montreal, while sitting on the steps of a music school that I realized I really wanted to study music formally. The idea hit me like a flash - to combine my dream of perfecting my french with my desire to study jazz music. It seemed SO far out of my scope, but somehow things lined up. A year later I was in music school in Paris, France.
For four years, I spent my days speaking french, studying jazz and wondering the streets of the most beautiful city in the world. It was a dream so outrageously good that I didn't want it to end EVER. But my soul starting stirring again and this time the Jazz Capitol of the World – NYC - was the persistent idea.
By now, I was much better at daring to listen to my heart. So it lead me step by step til I ended up in Brooklyn; where I furthered my love affair with music. I was living out the deepest, most outrageous dreams of my heart. Dreams I could have forgotten about, could have ignored. But instead, I Dared.
I remember walking the streets of NYC that first year, wearing a long winter coat, bad ass boots, listening to Evanescence in my ear buds. That’s why I Dared is produced as a delicate rock ballad (like Evanescence). I wanted to memorialize those early NYC moments when I was heading out to a gig on a cold winter night, feeling like a super hero.
That level of Joy that comes from an authentic life is something I wish for everyone. It has nothing to do with succeeding in a way that the world defines, and everything to do with living in your own integrity and remembering who you are in the depths of your heart and soul.
I'm no one special. And though my ego gets caught in many distractions and traps, I've never wanted to be special. I've just wanted to contribute to my community in a meaningful way. I've wanted to be of true service and not just be a taker, or worse - a tragedy.
When your self-esteem is so low, it's easy to fantasize that you want to be special, to better than everyone. But what you really want is just to feel worthy of belonging. To be a valuable member of society who is connected to those around you. Not better and not worse. But united.
If you knew the kind of unworthiness I've come from, then you would be as amazed as I am at how my life has turned out. The dreams I set out for seemed absolutely unreachable most of my days. But I kept listening to that quiet voice and doing my best on each and every step of my journey.
When I wrote that song, I was at the top of my own mountain and the view was glorious. I wrote I Dared to commemorate that first decision I made almost 20 years prior to follow my heart. I wrote it to thank myself for being brave. And I wrote to acknowledge that living for real is the true goal.
Living for real might mean something different to each of us. But we know we've made it by the great joy, fulfillment of purpose, healthy relationships and sense of peace that populates our minds; instead of unrealistic expectations. These gifts are the fruit we bear for those around us. And it's more valuable than all the gold and $ and fame on earth.
It's been years now since I wrote that song. But as the life of a song goes, it's been on it's own journey to being produced by the perfect person - Colin Hua, and then having a music video made by Eric Norcross. It takes time and patience, but I Dared has found her true expression. I’m very proud and thankful.
I release her today to acknowledge and inspire others on a similar journey;
For those who are not satisfied living according to other's expectations.
For those who don't want to play it safe.
For those who are shy and afraid, but showing up for their life anyways.
For those taking those terrifying steps towards what they truly dream of.
For those who are listening to that quiet voice calling them to truth.
For those who won't give up on themselves, even when the world has.
Movies don't show what happens after your dreams come true. I think becauset it can be weird like – ok, what's next?
I must admit that I've had the thought, “well if I had know that I would be able to achieve what I set out for, then maybe I should have set my sights even bigger?” Like more $ at least:)
But I was dreaming as big as I could at the time, and it took all of my daring to even imagine a Lyndol living in Paris and Brooklyn as a musician, owning her own small business and getting to play in incredible circumstances with incredible musicians.
Truth be told, by living out that dream, I've healed so much of my unworthiness, my shame, my doubt that it turned out to be bigger than I dared for. Bigger than tons of $ even.
And the woman I am today as a result IS ready to Dare for more. So as I release this music video in the world, I Dare...
What is it that you Dare today…
https://youtu.be/0C96yHhPh2U