Spiritual Spirituals - Songs for Seekers

For many years, I’ve been quiet about my faith. I was raised Catholic, but just after confirmation, started exploring ALL other options. In college, I was surrounded by Evangelical Christians who displayed behavior 6.5 days of the week. Then for that Sunday morning, they were shined up and full of judgement for the rest of us. I spent my 20’s running as far away from Christianity as possible. I never wanted to be like those Sorority Girls who gave Jesus a bad name. But no matter what religion I researched, from Buddism to Atheism, they just weren’t it for me. I’m thankful I had the courage to seek, and ask questions, to learn and explore. This is what the 20’s is for, in my opinion.

One thing was always true for me - this 3D reality ain’t the full truth. We are living half lives when we focus on the 5 senses. Science doesn’t even try to explain what love is, where we go when we dream, or die. So I could never accept fully that this is all there is. And I’m perhaps more unusual (for this time period) that seeking the truth beyond this world has always been more important to me than having success in this limited one. Doesn’t make you the most popular person, nor musician. But I am only interested in being authentic, in offering up (humbly I might add) what only I have to offer my fellow humans.

This is all in my art, my music, my writings. I am not a truth teller in that I can boldly speak face to face. I’ve had too many years of trying to no avail. People just don’t seem to understand my perspective, and I’ve researched too much to go back now. I ofter don’t understand theirs either.

But I’ve never stopped researching, exploring, questioning the true nature of the Universe, and it’s led to a very personal, and very deep relationship with my creator.

Because physics, and the study of vibration is a big part of how I view the world, I communicate through sound and color so much more than I can say in words. So from rock to pop to jazz to my originals - I’m always singing from my soul, or a more spiritual perspective, if you will.

That being said, I do consider Jesus Christ to be the one who changed my life. As they say in Christian circles, he is my Lord and Savior. This is hard for me to even write, though it’s my truth, because I remember how much I was turned off by these words. Spoken by hypocritical Christians who spouted these words with little integrity of action, and even less love demonstrated to themselves nor others. They made these words hallow platitudes. And it truly turned me off so much that Jesus and the bible were the LAST place I looked in my exhaustive seeking. I don’t ever want to do that to others. I pray to be someone who just offers love and compassion. I pray my art inspires others to seek for their own answers. For truth is truth.

But I must be brave to share what and who has made the difference for me. I’ve always played at Church services, and I’ve always loved it. Most recently, I played for the Peace Church in Pearland, Texas. Being amongst those believers, leading the worship for 4 weeks - it healed so much of the trauma from the last 2 years. It helped me to be brave enough to stand stronger in who I am, to share more of who I am. The songs I sang helped me to face my fears about coming back to NYC. Singing together such powerful words - I found the obedience and courage to face such a turbulent world from the perspective of service.

What can I do? How can I help? How can I continue to grow in faith and express even more the love and truth of who I am?

I’ve been sharing some of the songs that have helped me in these meditations on youtube. I share them to inspire others, but never to push my perspective onto others. None of us have the right to judge each other. Life is too big a mystery for that arrogance.

I believe each of us has a role to play here, and if you’ll ask, Jesus will help you to unveil that one day at a time. But if you’ve been turned off by religion, that’s ok too. I was for many years, and yet I was always cared for. I’m able to look back and see how loving the Universe was to me, in spite of it all; leading and guiding in the most miraculous ways.

A loving Universe? I know it doesn’t seem that way most of the time, but looks can be deceiving. And we live in a time where blind faith might be the only thing to get us through to see better times. At least that’s something I resonated with from Rudolf Steiner.

I pray to live in a world where we all are on our path to becoming our greatest versions of ourselves - full of love, patience, compassion - our true power. It starts inside your own heart and no one can do that work of healing for you. But there is help, if you ask.

I hope to play again soon with a congregation. In the meantime, I’ll share this way…