Hang On, New Life is Coming... (composition/video premier)
Hang On, New Life is Coming! By Lyndol Descant
https://youtu.be/sPFLi_x_WDs
Last August I hit a wall. Suddenly I knew instinctively that my entire life needed an overhaul. I've been lucky enough to live a life of in line with my integrity, and have always felt a deep sense that I was doing the work I was meant to be doing.
Of coarse, I wrestle with doubts and harsh comparisions that my life doesn't measure up to what society would call success. But that's not the gauge I want to use since what the world deems as success is not AT ALL in line with my truth. My heart calls me to be in service to others, not in service to my ego. Oh my ego - who would love to have fame, money, admiration. Trust me, I have dipped my toe into that path here and there. See it up close at times. I personally know that it's never enough but incredibly addicting.
Where as the path I've chosen does feel like enough to me. That's one of the goals I set for myself long ago – to feel a sense of satisifaction in my work. And I really did! For years! That is - up until this past August.
Suddenly I'm wrestless again. I intuitively know that I'm being called to make bigger decisions, wiser choices. But what are those exactly? Remains vague. I don't have the vision. I can feel what doesn't fit anymore, what's not satifying. But I'm not at all sure which direction to head.
I can discern one step at a time what feels right in the moment. I can have the patience and courage to avoid decisions made from my fear or doubt.
Instead to choose expansive, peaceful, joyful choices – not contracting but growing. Just as in nature, this type of growth is slow, almost tedious even.
I didn't expect to me here at 44 – facing yet another huge life makeover. And yet, I'm here - only half way thru another overhaul.
So far the big changes I have been making are the right ones. Being in my 40's now, I am wise enough to take my time in resetting my compass – one that reflects not only the current state of my mind and heart but also the current state of the world. It all feels so unstable. This country seems to be unraveling to the core with the natural disasters, the widespread fear, the slow crumbling of our faith in our institutions and leaders.
How do I continue to serve in these turbulent times? How can I care for myself and my loved ones when I'm not certain of anything anymore? How can I be a source of light and inspiration; not a broadcast of fear, when I myself have no idea what's going to happen next, who to trust, nor how to fix this broken world.
I know many others are struggling with the same questions. We set ourselves on the best path we could, but the world has been changing so fast under our feet that our life just doesn't make sense anymore.
If we are paying attention, then we are learning that we have to stand up and be the heros in our own lives. What does that look like in the shifting realities we face today where fear is starting to feel palpitable? Many are coming unhinged, arguing with no one listening, some forced to live on the streets or going off grid because work place enviroments and our economy is so disfunctional. Threat of disaster looms around every corner...
Hang On, New life is coming –
This song I wrote to encourage myself. Moment by moment, I'm letting the pieces fall apart, and waiting patiently to see what doors then open before me. It's not easy; I want to panic and quickly make decisions based on fear. They say it's insanity to keep doing the same things over and over again and then expect different results. Though I did my best, I realize now that I was making many decisions from a place of fear.
So I'm giving myself the time and space to figure this out from a peaceful place. To really be present with my life, my thoughts – no matter what is going on around me. This is no easy tasks, as I live in NYC – Capitol of the Craziness. Moment to moment, I have to hold onto to who I really am, and see what's true for me now. What brings me satisfaction now. Only I know the truth to these questions.
Underneath all the craziness, there is a promise. I feel it very deeply in my meditations, times in nature and in my healthy relationships. It's a promise of a new life that is filled with the satisfaction I've known, but also with more love and joy and abundance than I ever dared imagine before.
That's my new compass for my new life which is coming online one day at a time. Feeling it out moment by moment requires so much patience. And so much faith and so much trust. So much.
Composing this song helped me to stay focused. It reminds me to stay calm, when yet another difficult challenge pops up suddenly.
During this same time period, I randomly just started videoing when I had honest moments of clarity during the past 6 months. I'm no videographer, but I do love the marriage of sight and sound. During a random exploration, I set this composition to some of those phone. I kept the natural sounds as a way to symbolize how to hold onto the music of your heart and soul even amid the sounds of the world. I also think it's neat to hear how the sounds of nature feel juxtaposed verses the city sounds. The call of the birds seems to remind me of my music, where the car horns make me want to forget it all.
This creative project cheered me up yet again, so I decided to share it. I dedicate to others who are consciously in this transition process. I want to commend you and support you. I know personally how easy it can be to want to give up; when it feels like you've traveled so far, and yet have so much further to go. Perspective in these difficult moments is everything. So I offer this as a gift of perspective and faith. We can't ignore what's going on around us, but we can strengthen our internal resources so we are resilient enough to use these challenges as the catalyst to finally change our world, both in the micro and the macro; to one of joy, love, peace and harmony FOR ALL!
Hang On, New Life is Coming! By Lyndol Descant
https://youtu.be/sPFLi_x_WDs